The Gods and Your Mental Illness.
Disclaimers:
I would like to note that I speak only on behalf of my own opinions that are based around the beliefs of Norse Paganism. These opinions and beliefs will differ from person to person based on the path and feelings they follow within their own practices.
I use the term Norse Paganism, but it can also be known as any of the following and more; Asatru/Heathenry/Nordic Paganism/Odinism/etc.
I am aware that I posted to my facebook promising a new blog post “within the next 2-3 days” yet here we are a week later as I’m sitting here forcing myself to type this out.
There is no where in any Norse Pagan-related findings that say anything or mention anything negative about mental illness. Well, at least from what I have been able to find. So why am I mentioning this? The only experiences I have had with my mental illnesses with Norse Paganism is the community- some members in facebook pagan or heathen groups trying to convey that, “if you have mental illness, then you are weak and the gods will see you as weak”. I think I even recall a, “the gods won’t favor you if you have mental illness” remark. They never have any basis for this, but they seem to be really intent on convincing people of this. I guess if you're not getting "hacked into pieces" by an ice giant, then anything that happens to you isn't "viking" enough for those "real viking" men. (Because there's nothing more viking than sitting on your computer judging people who have their own struggles, duh)
Anyways, I have no idea what gods those people are interacting with or learning about because the gods and goddesses that I know are not like that. At all. You see, I have only been following this path for a month[, maybe a month and a half] and I have not been reprimanded at all by Odin or Loki. In fact, I’ve felt supported, guided, and cared about.
Before I move on I feel like I should make a note;
The mental illnesses I suffer from greatly affect my ability to perform everyday tasks. For those with any insight to mental illness, I would describe my symptoms to be manic; severe ups and severe downs. I feel things far more intensely than the majority of people. And these symptoms get more severe when I get a new job. And, well, recently I got a new job which isn’t a very mentally/emotionally healthy work environment. This situation has put a huge damper on my ability to have the physical, mental, or emotional ability to spend quality time with the two gods I honor most [Odin and Loki], or to even clean my room do laundry, cook, etc. I can hardly even recall the last altar session I had [aside from yesterday, when I had a random surge of “up” before my severe “down” again].
Despite not having had the energy lately for any altar sessions, there hasn’t been any feelings of “disappointed” from the gods. The other night, after laying in bed for three hours unable to sleep due to my anxiety, I talked to Odin. I had realized how long it was since I had spoken to him and just let loose all of my emotions. As I talked and poured out my emotions, sorrow, and burden, I felt warmth. I felt comforted. There was this feeling of understanding and “do what you must and take your time”. Last night I had a session with Loki, and during that session I had suddenly felt the energy I was having before I got the job and was able to clean my entire room (it's not very big), fold and put laundry away, and even set up some storage things to give me more space. (Loki and I have the habit of snacking and cleaning my room during our sessions. I.e. I share with him what I am eating and drinking, and I proceed to clean my room and rant about life) During that entire session with Loki, or my heart-filled talk to Odin, I never ever felt as if they were disappointed. I never felt any negative energy.
So now I would like to say to all of you who are suffering from mental illness and worry about not having the energy or time to honor them as “often as you should”: The gods aren’t going anywhere. Unlike humans, the gods won’t look at their calendar and say, “Well what the feck, they haven’t talked to me in a week! We aren’t friends anymore!”. If you communicate with them and let them know you are struggling, needing some time to recover, they will understand. Ignore that dudebro viking-wannabe. The gods will not and do not hate you for your mental illness and struggles relating. They do not think you are weak. You are not weak. They are here when you are ready, or if you need them, etc.
I would also like to say to you "real viking men" who think your opinion is fact to the gods; please think twice about telling people their struggles don't matter and that they don't matter to the gods. You cannot tell me, or anyone else, that what we experience with the gods isn't real. You cannot tell us that the gods hate us when all we have received from them is support and acceptance. Save that "my god doesn't like/allow ___" for the Abrahamic religions. There is rarely ever "Evidence" of the gods "hating" certain types of people. And just because the real actual vikings in the past didn't like certain things does not mean that it applies to the gods.
And with this, I will end.
Also, please note that this is in no way intended to be aggressive. I am typing from a place of passion and hurt. If you interpret this as violent, then maybe you need to check yourself and your own interpretations and feelings. After having problems with this recently in the past, I must waste my energy to make clear of my "tone". This will not happen often, so please be responsible for yourself now and in the future.
This is a short post, I’m sorry. I just don’t have the energy. But I feel like this is really needed to be said.
As always, if you have any questions, concerns, or comments, please feel free to contact me on my social media accounts, or via email!
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