Restlessness and the Eclipse.
Disclaimers:
I would like to note that I speak only on behalf of my own opinions that are based around the beliefs of Norse Paganism. These opinions and beliefs will differ from person to person based on the path and feelings they follow within their own practices.
I use the term Norse Paganism, but it can also be known as any of the following and more; Asatru/Heathenry/Nordic Paganism/Odinism/etc.
It's been nearly a month since my last writings? My deepest apologies. I have been going through mounds of life changes and it feels like I've barely been awake for an hour since my last post. Perhaps you can be as forgiving as the Gods and Goddesses.
I quit my job as a cashier and obtained a new and better job that isn't in customer service. I feel as if this was a reward, and likely more of an apology from Odin and Loki for pushing me past my limits at my previous job.
Last week on the 21st of August, we had a solar eclipse that could be seen and partially seen here in North America, particularly in the United States. The days leading up to the eclipse I had felt fine, but I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes at all those who were overly excited. I was feeling unnecessarily negative for a while leading up to the eclipse, and keeping track of time and events were difficult. This type of feeling is quite normal for me when I am in my more 'manic' phases of depression and other things. But, the day of the eclipse is something I cannot explain.
The night before was a long one, and I had woken up about thirty minutes before the eclipse was supposed to be happening. I live in the upper-Midwest of America and so the eclipse here was not complete- there was no total darkness [or really much of any darkness]. I kicked myself for not having gotten any viewing glasses, and I also had kicked myself even more for not having done any research of what I should be doing during the eclipse as a Norse Pagan.
I jumped out of bed and packed my reusable Elsa bag with my candles, some offerings, my baby blanket (which was cleansed with sage), my tarot card, rune stones, and some things I have on my Odin and Loki altars and headed outside. I would charge my stones and tarot cards during my altar session.
I walked the yard until I sat in a spot I was drawn to and set up: baby blanket on the ground, nine candles for each of the nine realms, an offering plate with two glasses which I had put whiskey in one and beer the other. I placed my stones and such I use on my altars on the blanket as well as my rune stones. I also placed the only offerings I had available; chocolate and graham crackers.
I thought myself as ridiculous to try to wing an altar session, but I lit the candles and labeled each of the nine realms. I rattled off as many names of the Gods and Goddesses I could, and mentioned I wanted to address those also unnamed either from my forgotten memory or those who were lost in history. Then, I just began to talk.
I asked each and every one of them to come to me, to help me to think of them and be grateful always, no matter where or what I am doing. I asked for their guidance, skill, knowledge, and wisdom so I can use it to become a better devotee to them. I sat in the grass, feeling the ground below me and watching the clouds, breathing deeply, and concentrating.
Once the eclipse time was over, I packed up and went inside and slowly began to felt strange. I was irrationally positive, and I began to feel differently. My eyes felt as if they were not my own. It was as if there was a film over 'my' eyes and time was going by quickly, yet very slowly. This lasted the entire day and the next day I felt hungover.
Ever since then I have been feeling very sensitive. I've been sensing the presence of something like I've never felt before. When I was doing laundry, it looked as if there was a man sitting in the chair next to the dryer.
I do believe that my session during the eclipse brought me far closer to my Gods and Goddesses than I had imagined. I am still working on trying to be a more consistent devotee to them, to do more altar sessions and such.
I also want to start to write more entries here, so I am hoping that my depression will clear up a bit so I can do that.
And, perhaps, the eclipse opened a door or my own senses to something more than just my Gods and Goddesses.
I will bring more updates of these adventures and other happenings in my life that are Pagan related in the future. For now, I must focus on healing mentally, and even now physically as I struggle with gallstones and gastrointestinal problems. I promise I will be back regularly as soon as I am better. For now, please enjoy my sporadic posts ;)
There is a large storm rolling in, one of the many we have had since the eclipse. I asked Thor and Ran to bring more storms before the end of summer and my wish has been granted. Now, excuse me while I go sit in the rain and feel the powers of my Norse Gods and Goddesses.
As always, if you have any questions, concerns, or comments, please feel free to contact me on my social media accounts, or via email!
Bonus: This little beetle came and hung out on the candle I use on Odin's altar (and also my first candle I ever bought or my altar). He was with me the whole time.
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